Cool. Calm. Collected.

~ Felix : Vancouver. 20. Chef. ~
Pastry, Coffee, Maybe a Boy someday

Me, Myself, and I

Whhhhhy do I have an asshole Dad that I don’t want to interact with and a Mom who can’t just stop caring about him.


People talk about how hard long distance relationships are but nobody talks about the struggle of long distance friendships. I would give my left leg right now to just be able to sit in our pjs and watch movies or to just be able to give a big fucking hug. 

Anonymous: Why did you get a tattoo for the day you met your ex boyfriend?

Well the tattoo isn’t really to represent him in my life, or that he is infinite in my life (since the tattoo is bound by an infinity symbol). The tattoo is more so for myself. Christian was a very unique, special, and important person in my life. He was the one that was there to listen to my problems, he was the one that made me feel at ease, he was the one I helped accept himself…he was my best friend and well boyfriend. 

But the tattoo isn’t for him or to recognize that’s the day I met him. It’s more so the day I first met someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with as a significant other to me. In cheesier, and gross terms, i guess you can say it was the first time I wanted to marry someone and have them be my husband. That was the day I first found someone that I was truly passionate about. I was passionate about our relationship (like baking, cooking and coffee to me? weird but those are the only other things i’m passionate about I guess). I constantly wanted to strive to be a better boyfriend, strive to make him happier, and just be better in general. He kept me going, just like baking keeps me going. No matter how hard times are, and how hard the efforts I had to put in for our relationship or work, it was okay, everything in the end felt like it was worth it. I loved him, I loved the idea of being with him, I loved being with him, I loved how the world could be crumbling and he could still make me feel safe and at ease.

The tattoo is to remind me of those feelings and those experiences. The infinity symbol is to bound that to me forever so I don’t forget. To always remember that those are the feelings of truly loving someone as a significant other, loving someone as a husband. So that when I’m ready to explore the world for my other half again, that I have something to remind me what it is that I need, and deserve.

I fucken hate porn studios sometimes. Like the good ones always find the really attractive, charming and like sweet ones, it’s like bitch don’t take the good boys out of our dating pool.